My Immortal
by bleedingonyx
Summary: Bella-New Moon 9 months after Edward left something happened that changed her life for the worst. Then, Jacob came in. He sees thats she's depressed and begs her to try out for his band. Will she make it? Can she even sing? BxE. Check for summary inside!


I'm so tired of being here

SUMMARY: (Bella-New Moon)9 months after Edward left something happened that changed her life for the worst. Then, Jacob came in. He sees thats she's depressed and begs her to try out for his band. Will she make it? Can she even sing? BxE. WHat if she can sing and makes it big? What happens when one day Edward turns on the radio?Alternative story coming too!! Same plot, same characters, some major changes. COMING SOON!!

**Hey guys! This is my new story. It's currently a one-shot, but I intend to DEFINITELY make it into more chapters. Review and tell me how you like it so far. If I get enough reviews, I'll make the a 1****st**** chapter so you can understand everything better. I MAY OR MAY NOT CHANGE THIS! THIS IS NOT AN OFFICIAL STORY YET!! THIS IS JUST AN IDEA I HAD AND I MIGHT CHANGE IT COMPLETELY!! Okay? Review and let me know if you like it.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the lyrics. Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer, and the lyrics/songs are from Evanescence.**

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**PROLOGUE**

It's been 9 long months, the longest and hardest of my life. Is he ever going to leave my mind? Or is he going to continue splitting me open from the inside out?

_**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
**_

I see him in my dreams, just before they turn to nightmares. Every night, I try so hard to see his angelic smile, but I can only picture the cold look emblazoned into my brain forever.

**My name is Bella Swan, and love of my existence doesn't love me anymore.**

_**And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**_

_**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
**_

Outside, the scars from the accident still last. They are slowly fading, but my sorrows never will.

Inside, I feel a ghost hole tearing through my chest, hollowing it out until there is nothing left.

What had I done to deserve this pain? Why did he stop loving me?

I knew that I wasn't good enough for him. He told me so many times that I was perfect for him, but I _knew_ it! Anyone with eyes could see that he was a God and I was not.

It made perfect sense for him to leave me. But…I wished he killed me instead. At least then, I wouldn't have to live with the fact that I wasn't good enough.

_**  
CHORUS:  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**_

No matter how much screaming and crying I do, I know that I will never be able to hate him. Not completely anyway. And that's what makes me so mad!

I used to be his little human puppy dog. I _adored_ him. I was enthralled by his every move, every smile, every laugh. Not that I would ever see or hear any of those again. He _captivated_ me.

_**You used to captivate me  
By your resonating life  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**_

**He left me broken, bleeding. He condemned me to my own personal hell. **

I used to hate Forks. I used to absolutely loathe Forks. Then he came and I loved it. I didn't want to leave. Now, I cannot leave. I have made a commitment here, a life here. I won't turn away from it because my feelings have changed. Two wrongs don't make a right. Even though not much is left for me here, staying is what is expected of me.

_**  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
**_

Nightmares. Every night I was wracked with them. They wrenched my heart so me more. The battered my soul relentlessly. If the dreams were a human, I'd charge it him with assault.

Every time I went to sleep, I woke up with a scream and tears on my face.

_**Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me**_

I even heard his voice. I know; it's crazy, right? Whenever I was in danger, or being reckless, I could hear his voice again. Even to this day. That's where I get my scars from. The other places I got my scars…I'd rather not talk about for now.

_**These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
**_

No matter how hard I try, I will never forget him. Even with the amnesia, I still remembered everything so crystal clear. And it pissed me off! Why would God allow me to remember his face, but not remember my name? That wasn't fair!

It just made it hurt more when I did remember. To remember that I lost _everything_, crushed me. I didn't lose just _him_, I lost my entire family after I lost him.

Why didn't God just take me instead? Why did he take _them_? Why?

Why did he leave me here? Why did his love fade? Was I really so gruesome to have around? Me, a measly _human_?

_**  
Chorus  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**_

The pain was ruthless. What was I going to do without him? What was I going to do without _them_?

I should have been killed too!

_**  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along  
**_

I may still hear your voices in my memories. Him, Renee, Charlie…all of their voices, but it's nothing like the real thing. I will never hear them talk or yell, or laugh, or cry. Never again.

Renee and Charlie and I were in a car crash. Everyone died but me. I say _every_one because we weren't the only ones in the car.

So was my baby sister. Barely talking, but singing in my heart. I would never forget—no could never forget anyone one of them. Just like the way I could never forget _him_.

_**  
Chorus**_

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me**_

I miss them.

I am alone. I am scared. I am hurt. I am broken. I am angry. I am sad. I am grieving inside. I am lonely. I am crying. I am bleeding. I am mourning. I am distant. I am borderline catatonic again. I am now potentially mute. I am anything but happy.

**I am Bella Swan and everyone I once held dear has left me.**

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**How'd you guys like it? This is only the Prologue. It's subject to change. I'll make the 1****st**** chapter soon though. How soon depends on how many reviews I get. In the first chapter everything will make sense. I promise. **


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